Never Let You Down: The Connaghers, Book 4 Page 10

  “You said you typically used a crop or a whip. I don’t have anything like that. Will a belt do? Or—”

  She pushed her good hand down into his boxers and wrapped her fingers around his cock in a firm squeeze. It was just as thick as she’d suspected, making her squirm with anticipation. “Just this.”

  In the long years since Ty’s death, she’d lain awake in the bed she’d shared with her husband for more than twenty years and tried to imagine what it’d be like to take another man. She’d been a virgin with Ty and she’d never had another lover. She’d never wanted anyone as much as she’d wanted him. She couldn’t see herself ever taking another man. Ever.

  Or so she’d told herself.

  Sometimes she’d remember the one night she’d kissed another man outside a bar in College Station and wonder what he was doing. Wonder what if. What if she’d told Ty about him from the beginning? Would she and Ty have still married? Or what if Ty hadn’t ever shown up in her life? Or she hadn’t decided to go riding that night and just happened to take her crop?

  There were so many intersections in her life. Places where things could have gone differently. Not wrong, just…different.

  Because with Jebadiah here before her, she could finally see herself with another man. In fact, she could see what it might have been like if she’d taken that one stolen kiss further. And as much as it pained her to admit it, Miss Belle was right.

  We would have messed each other up so badly back then.

  She hadn’t known her own inner core of strength yet. She hadn’t known that she was Dominant, or a sadist, just that Ty made her feel things she’d never felt before. She could have destroyed Jeb without even realizing what she was doing. Not that Sharon had been much better for him. Although maybe he’d needed those years to find himself, just as she’d needed those years with Ty to develop into the woman that was here, now, looking into Jeb’s dark, hungry eyes and wondering if hers were just as desperate.

  She leaned closer, brushing her mouth gently against his lips. “I want this dick in me. Now.”

  He quivered, shocked by coarse language from the supposedly well-mannered, sweet girl he’d grown up with. But he liked it, yes he did. His hands pushed up beneath her dress, not bothering to unzip it and gently remove the gown to protect it. There wasn’t time. One hand lifted her hips, the other hooked a finger under the edge of her panties so he could drag them off.

  So close. She arched against him, cursing her broken arm. She wanted to roll him flat on his back and shove him as deeply as he could go. She wanted to ride him hard and reckless, slinging them both into oblivion. Aching emptiness gnawed at her, making her writhe closer, her good hand squeezing him too hard, surely, dragging him up on the bed while he worked her higher on the mattress, but she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t help but try and lift her left arm, bumping it awkwardly against his chest hard enough that it made her stomach clench with pain.

  “Your arm,” he whispered against her mouth. “Be careful, Ginny.”

  With a low, vicious growl, she lay back on the bed, gripping his cock so he came down over her. “You’re going to have to hold me down or I’m going to hurt it.”

  He smiled and it was a beautiful thing that eased some of the raw desperation thundering in her veins. “My dick or your arm?”

  “Both,” she retorted, giving him another squeeze before releasing him so she could hook her arm around his neck. “Get this fucking sling off me. I want to feel you. All of you. Damn it, we should have just taken the time to get my dress off too.”

  “Language, Virginia. I hope Miss Belle doesn’t still carry that parasol around.”

  “Oh, she does. Though if she even thinks about whacking me with it, I’ve got a horsewhip I can wield one-handed.”

  Chuckling, he helped her get the sling off. And much to her extreme frustration, he insisted she sit up so he could remove her dress and bra too. Though it was worth her continued discomfort to see the way his hands trembled as he traced the pink scars from her surgery and then hovered over her breasts.

  In that department, she was less than spectacular. That’s one thing she’d envied Sharon when she’d seen her impressive cleavage. “I know there’s not much to brag about in that regard so you can remove that look of awe on your face and get busy.”

  “You’re wrong,” he whispered, reverently burying his face against her chest. She wrapped her good arm tightly around him and let him gently lay her down on her back. “I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as you.”

  His voice broke, and she swore his eyes glimmered suspiciously as he rose up and grabbed a pillow to make sure her arm was cushioned. On his knees between her thighs, he looked down at her.

  “So beautiful. I’ve waited so long for this. I love you, Virginia Healy Connagher. I always have.”

  Eyes burning with emotion, she opened her mouth, but she wasn’t entirely sure what she was going to say. She could admit that she loved him, at least to herself. That she’d probably loved him her whole life, even though she also loved Ty with her whole heart. But she wasn’t sure that she was ready to say it out loud. Somehow he sensed that need for time and took the pressure away by sealing his mouth over hers.

  Then once she felt the weight of his body, his chest hair against her breasts, all she wanted was him. Inside her.

  She reached between them and grabbed his cock, rubbing him against her opening.

  “God, you’re so wet.” He shuddered, groaning as she shifted her hips to position him just right. “But is it enough? I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Then you’ve not been listening.” She reached around and seized his buttock, using him for leverage to work her hips against him. “I warned you it was going to be a tough fit. That’s one thing I remembered from that first kiss. I might not have seen you, but I certainly felt the evidence. You’re going to fill me to the point of pain.” She let out a shaking breath and lifted her hips, pushing him incrementally deeper. “Mmmm. The good kind of pain. The best.”

  She arched her back, rubbing her breasts against him. The feel of his chest hair against her nipples made her drop her head back and groan deep in her throat. “It’s been too long. I…”

  She meant to warn him, to tell him that she lost her mind sometimes. Her climaxes could be violent, but she couldn’t make her mouth work. He was too big, too wide and thick and so damned good. So good. She wasn’t going to get him in all the way before she came.

  He curled his bracing forearm around the shoulder of her injured arm. “I’ve got you, Ginny.”

  Her muscles seized up. She clutched his buttocks, digging her nails into him. Her back arched, her entire body heaving upward into the pleasure rumbling through her body. Each quiver rose in intensity, lifting her higher, harder, until she roared out a cry that hurt her own ears. He gave her more of his weight, trying to keep her from flailing too much, but that pushed more of him inside her, forcing her to take him deeper.

  She sucked in a deep breath so she could yell again. He had to be bleeding like her palm earlier, but she didn’t dare let go of his ass for fear she’d rake bloody grooves down his back. After what seemed like an eternity, she finally regained enough sense to open her eyes.

  Eyes squeezed shut, neck and shoulders corded with strain, Jeb was braced above her, frozen while she writhed and scratched and screamed beneath him, still hard inside her. Panting, she let go of his buttock so she could cup his cheek. “Jeb. Let go. You don’t have to wait.”

  His jaw clenched, the muscles flinching across his cheek. “Yes, I do. At my age, I’m lucky I don’t have to take Viagra. I’m sure not going to risk being finished for the night when you’ve only just begun. Besides, you didn’t fulfill your threat yet.”

  “What’s that?”

  He cracked an eye open. “You said you were going to take every inch.”

  Chapter Twelve

&n
bsp; It was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life, but Jeb had somehow managed to keep from blowing the top of his head off while she fought through her first climax in his arms. Fought. Because she was a wildcat, even with one arm in a cast. He had the scratches to prove it. But then he’d known it would be like this with her. Well, at least it’d been like this in his dreams for forty years.

  “You’re right,” she purred. “I said every delicious inch, didn’t I? You’d best get busy shoving that big dick deeper, then.”

  He trembled, fighting the urge to do just that. A man of his size didn’t go around shoving into a woman. Sharon would have needed half a bottle of lube by now. He was used to never getting fully sheathed before she was done. Not that they’d had sex that often in those last few years.

  Virginia raked her fingernails down his sternum hard enough his breath hissed out and he focused on her. “That’s better. You’re going to have to work to get in me all the way, so get busy.”

  “But…”

  She lowered her voice to a hard, vibrating command. “I said work.”

  That tone. It made him swell inside her even more.

  After he finally figured out what he needed in the bedroom, he’d dreamed about what she’d say to him. How she’d order him to please her. Yet in his wildest dreams, it’d never been as good as this.

  He pushed against her, testing how tight she was and how much room he had before he hit her cervix. Sweat trickled down his spine and his balls ached so bad it felt like she’d tied them up and put them in a vise. He rolled his hips, rocking side to side to get her wider and hopefully ease his way inside.

  “Ram home,” she growled. “Don’t be gentle. Don’t be shy. I can take all of you.”

  Pressure rose in his balls, a fireball waiting to tear through him in an explosion that might just kill him. He fisted his left hand in the bedding by her head for leverage and pushed deeper. She groaned, her head rolling back and forth against the mattress. “More. Give me more.”

  Her words were like a whip across his back, goading him. He gave one final heave to seat himself fully. Encased in her hot, tight body, he shuddered and fought the urge to simply climax without a single full thrust. So long. I’ve dreamed of this so long.

  “There.” Her voice was tight, as if he’d filled her up all the way to her throat. “That’s what I wanted to feel. Look at me, Jebadiah.”

  He forced his eyes open, blinking away sweat. His lungs burned, every inch of his body throbbing with the need to come. The look in her eyes made his breath stutter, catching deep in his chest on what he hoped sounded more like a groan than a sob.

  Soft and luminous, she gave him the look. The look that said he meant something to her. Something more than best friend. That maybe…just maybe…

  “Now I want you to fuck me so hard your neighbors call the police.”

  She might as well have flayed open his back with her whip. His entire body heaved against her. He couldn’t control it, and the sweet pull of her flesh on his made him crazy. He hauled backward and she bucked beneath him, only increasing the friction. If she’d yelled before, he could only say she bellowed now, each deep guttural cry lashing him with such pleasure. He wanted to last, to thrust until his muscles burned and cramped but he couldn’t hold back. Not with her nails raking his back and her teeth digging into his shoulder. He shoved deeper, too hard, surely, but he couldn’t stop, even if he drove clear through her to the other side. Spasms shook his body, his weight crushing her, but he couldn’t seem to make his arms work to lift off her. At least she couldn’t hurt her bad arm if she couldn’t lift it.

  He dropped his head beside hers on the pillow, hoping he wasn’t crying but terribly afraid he was.

  Nuzzling into his neck, she finally found his ear, her breath hot and moist. “That was…” She sighed heavily and stroked his ear with her tongue, making him spasm inside her again. “Worth waiting for. Though maybe we could have shaved a few years off to get here quicker.”

  He laughed breathlessly and found enough strength to roll off her. Flat on his back beside her, he looked up at the same ceiling he’d stared at for the past month, trying to summon the courage to go find out if it was too late after all. “You could have called me anytime, Ginny. I would’ve taken the next flight out from wherever I was so I could get to you as quickly as possible.”

  Curling into his side, she shifted her bad arm out of the way so she could trail her fingers through his chest hair. She gave a little pull and damned if his cock didn’t stir. Maybe he wasn’t too old for a second round tonight after all. “You were always there for me. I’m sorry—”

  He gathered her closer. “Shh. We both needed time to find our way back to here. Even if we’d had to wait twenty years. Thirty. I’d have waited as long as it took just to hold you like this.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  November 2002

  Tyrell wouldn’t have wanted to die like this, without his hat, boots and horse.

  She despised hospitals. At least the fucking cancer was taking Ty fast enough that he wouldn’t be caged here for long. She’d barely had time to call the boys and bring them home before it was too late.

  He lay flat on his back in a hospital gown, tubes in his nose feeding him enough oxygen to keep him just barely alive, a shell of the man she’d known and loved all these years. His chest moved so slightly that she found herself staring at him, willing him to take another breath. Just one more.

  “Princess?”

  She leaned closer and squeezed his hand, though he didn’t open his eyes. “I’m here.”

  “Call him.”

  “Who?”

  “He’ll take care of you. If you need anything, you call him. He swore he’d come if you called.”

  Bewildered, she could only think of one person he might be talking about. “Jebadiah? But I haven’t seen him since he moved to California. When did you talk to him?”

  “He swore at our wedding.” Ty’s voice was so weak and soft, hazy like he was drifting into sleep. He tried to open his eyes, his shoulders shifting against the bed as if he wanted to sit up, but she knew he wasn’t ever getting up again. He wasn’t ever going to wake up again. “If you ever need anything, call him.”

  “Shh,” she soothed, cupping his face with her free hand. “I’ll call him. Don’t you worry about anything, Ty. I’ll handle everything.”

  “Call him. Promise.”

  “I promise.”

  Virginia turned away from the old, painful memory, her eyes hot and dry. She’d cried buckets of tears already. She didn’t have anything left.

  “You should have kept your promise.”

  She wasn’t surprised to smell Stetson and leather in the gray swirling clouds of the dream. “Ty?”

  “You promised you would call him.”

  She turned slowly, searching for him, his voice coming from everywhere. “I did call him. He came to your funeral.”

  “You know what I mean, Princess. I didn’t want you to be alone. Not so long.”

  “He was married, Ty.”

  “So were you.” His voice came against her ear. “Are you going to look me in the eye and lie to me again?”

  “No,” she whispered, leaning back into his warmth. “I want him. As much as I ever wanted you.”

  “That’s my Princess. Don’t you feel guilty, darlin’. I never wanted you to be alone. I never wanted you to suffer so long without me.”

  “I know. I just… I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  “I always loved you, but I loved you even more when you hurt me.”

  Swallowing the lump in her throat, she rubbed the back of her head against his chest. “I was scared to tell you about him. I thought I’d somehow lose you both. What would you have done if I’d told you I wanted him then?”

  Ty’s arms tightened around her, his chin on th
e top of her head. “I’d have taken you with me when I went to see him and we would have come to an understanding. I wasn’t ever going to leave you as long as you still wanted me, and in many ways, it might have been better for you to marry him instead of me. We wouldn’t have struggled and worked so hard all those years to build our life from nothing.”

  “No. I would have destroyed him and not even known what I was doing. Besides, I never minded those years of hard work and sacrifice. They made us both stronger, and made our kids stronger. I wouldn’t change those years with you for anything in this world.”

  “You would have had me there to help steady you with him. I think we might have managed to work things out. But one way or the other, I never would have made you choose. Not if you wanted us both.” He sighed against her ear. “It’s time for me to go, but I’m always with you, Princess. If you need me, I’m here. Just call.”

  “How?”

  “You’ll know if the time comes. Don’t wait too long before accepting Jeb’s hand, either. You know how delicate the male ego is.”

  She snorted, even though her eyes burned. She’d said much the same thing to her mother days ago. “You think he’s going to finally screw up enough courage to ask me to marry him?”

  “Yes’m, I know it. I know everything. I can even tell you how many grandbabies you’re going to have.”

  Her heart soared, her arms more than ready to cuddle some dark-haired feisty babies again. She whirled in his arms and searched his face. “Who? Vicki? Or is it one of the boys’ girls?”

  “All of the above, but I ain’t telling you nothing else.” Ty chuckled, shaking his head. “You’d best get that house ready for our grandchildren, though.”

  “I will.” She cupped his face with her hands. “We were so blessed.”

  “We sure were. Now God’s gone and blessed you again, Virginia Healy Connagher Garrett. You take what you want and hold on tight.” He pressed his mouth to hers but he was already fading, thin and wispy in her arms like fog. “I dare you.”