One Cut Deeper Read online

  He took a deep breath that sounded like a gasp of pain. “I had an older brother. Vincent went into the military as soon as he graduated from high school. I never saw him again. He was officially listed as MIA but it’s been twenty years. He isn’t ever coming home.”

  Tears trickled down my cheeks but I didn’t say anything, afraid to hurt him more, but also aching to hear everything he would share. I wanted to know him inside and out, as he knew me.

  “He was the lucky one,” Charlie continued, his voice distant. “I never knew our father. Until he found us when I was seventeen and killed our mother. She’d been hiding us from him. He almost killed me too. That night I saw what blood did for my father, and I was terrified I’d become a monster just like him.”

  My breath stilled, my heart thudding so hard and heavy that the heavy drumming almost drowned out his words. His mother killed by his father, right before him. God. Just the idea of that would give me nightmares.

  “I joined the military to try and find Vince. When that failed, I joined the FBI to try and stop people like my father. But I learned that you can’t ever stop people like him. They don’t care about laws, or love, or anything but the kill. It gets to you, after a while. That helpless running against the tide, trying to stop the inevitable. It’s in the blood,” he whispered hoarsely. “Can’t wash it out. Can’t change it. Eventually you have to accept it and do the best you can with it. My father killed people and reveled in their blood. When I learned that I was a sexual sadist, I taught myself how to please my partner with pain, and if I was extremely lucky, I’d be rewarded with a little blood for my efforts. That kind of blood lust I could control. I refused to be a monster like him.” He sharpened his voice. “Don’t cry for me, Ranay. You don’t ever cry for me.”

  I wiped my tears away but fresh ones followed. The despair and agony in his voice broke my heart. “I can’t help it. I know how it feels to try and change. I wanted to cut out the part of me that makes me so weak and vulnerable. I didn’t want to be broken. I hated myself because I couldn’t change. Living like everyone else was killing me. Until you came along.”

  “If I teach you anything while we’re together, I want you to live. Really live. Your life, your way. If anyone tries to make you feel bad, fuck ‘em. Fuck ’em all. Don’t let anyone break you again. Especially me.”

  “You wouldn’t hurt me. Not like that.”

  “I hope not.” He said it wistfully, his voice aching with regret and heartache yet to happen. “You mean so much to me.”

  “Master—” My voice broke and I didn’t care if it was stupid to say this before we’d even known each other a week. “I love you. Only you. No matter what.”

  “Ranay,” he breathed out, his voice shaking as badly as mine. “If anything happens to you...”

  “You’re the one in danger.” I tried to laugh and lighten the emotion choking me. “Be careful.”

  “I’m not in danger. But I risk your safety every moment I’m with you.”

  I shivered, but it wasn’t with fear. The healing bites on my thighs ached with the memory of his sensual danger. “Red.”

  “That’s my girl. I need to go soon. Have you had enough pleasure to get you through the night?”

  “I’ve had plenty, but what about you?”

  He hummed and I could almost see his eyes twinkling with humor. “I’ve had dessert listening to you. Now curl up with Sheba and get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow night, same time.”

  “Promise?”

  He hesitated, and I was glad I’d challenged him. He always kept his promises.

  “I promise. Sleep tight.”

  “Goodnight, Master.”

  I buried my face in his pillow and wrapped my arms tightly around Sheba. I wished it was him instead, so I could take away his pain. So much darkness and death in his life. How could someone who’d seen such violence and loss be so tender and understanding?

  That’s why he had such a dark edge to him. He was dangerous. I believed him, now. But I knew the tenderness in his heart too. The way he whispered kitten and kissed my forehead, or made sure I had enough tasks to get through a miserably long day alone with my history. He was taking care of me even though he was gone, better than anyone in my life had ever done.

  Sleep eluded me, my thoughts tumbling ever darker and more disturbing. If his father had attacked them, killed his mother and nearly killed him...

  Did that mean Charlie had been forced to kill his own father?

  Chapter Fifteen

  After work, I swung by Vanderholt College and parked in a guest spot in front of the huge gray box of a building. It’d once been a Kmart, but a few years ago they’d converted into a technical college.

  I rubbed Sheba behind the ears while I built up enough courage to go inside. I didn’t have a good track record with college. But that’d been university, the traditional route of thousands of other nameless freshmen roaming around without a clue. I wanted to expand my position with Dr. Wentworth so I could handle the animals more rather than manning the receptionist desk. Supposedly Vanderholt offered a vet tech degree. Whether I’d be able to afford it or not was another question entirely.

  Determined to get it over with, I gathered up my purse. I opened my door and Sheba started to follow me. “Stay. I’m sorry, girl, but I can’t take you in there with me.”

  Whining, she gave me a reproachful look and sat down in the passenger seat. She was so big her ears brushed the top of the car.

  Guilt swelled in my chest but I shut the door, making sure the windows were cracked. I’d never think of leaving her in the car if it was summer. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  I hurried inside and asked to speak to someone in enrollments. A nice-looking man in slacks and a tie guided me to his office. He talked the whole way, welcoming me to Vanderholt and chattering about the weather. All I caught was his first name, John.

  “So what can I help you with today?”

  I sat down in front of his desk. “I’m interested in your vet tech program.”

  He frowned. “I’m sorry, that program is out of our St. Louis branch. We don’t have those classes on this campus.”

  I almost snorted. Your freaking campus is a Kmart building. “So can I take the classes online?”

  “Not for that program, no. Most of our classes require hands-on training through extensive labs, which is what you look for in this type of program. Could I interest you in our dental assistant program instead?”

  I barely suppressed a shudder. Ugh. I couldn’t imagine digging around in people’s mouths all day and I was petrified of going to the dentist, even as an adult. “No, thanks.”

  “Medical assistant? We have a really nice relationship with the local hospitals and doctors’ offices. You’d be able to get a job right away.”

  “No. I want to work with animals. Do you know of anyone in town who has a vet tech program?”

  He smiled and spread his hands apologetically. “I’m afraid not. Sorry I couldn’t help you today. If you change your mind on the other programs, give me a call. Classes start next week.”

  “Out of curiosity, do you know how much the vet tech program costs?”

  “I’m not sure, but I’m guessing in the twenty—to thirty-grand range.” At the look of horror on my face, he hurriedly continued. “With our government grants and extensive loan programs, you could get everything paid for up front.”

  “Yeah, and then have a monstrous student loan to pay back. No thanks.”

  I didn’t take his offered card. Twenty grand! That was nearly an entire year’s salary. What a joke. Even if I got a super well-paying job afterward, I couldn’t expect to make more than thirty thousand a year. It’d take forever to pay off those loans. I paused at the door so I could dig my keys out of my purse.

  “Well, whaddaya know, it’s the dog sitter.”

  I jerked my gaze up to the man’s face but I didn’t immediately recognize him. He had that normal white-guy look. Brown
hair, not too tall, not too short, not too heavy. Just average. But the gold Suburban parked across from my Focus told me who he was. The creepy neighbor. I gave a slight smile and started toward my car. Sheba had her paws braced against the passenger door, her nose up at the crack in the window.

  “Are you thinking about going to college?”

  I shrugged but hurried my step. “I don’t think so. They don’t have what I’m looking for.”

  He snagged my arm in a vicious grip and gave me a tug toward his SUV. “Maybe I can help you with that.”

  He wants to get me into his car.

  Digging in my heels, I jerked away and Sheba went Cujo, viciously barking and frothing at the mouth as if she suddenly had rabies. I was afraid she’d hurt herself trying to break the glass, but I didn’t want to let her out, either. The last thing I wanted to do was explain to Charlie how I’d let his dog bite somebody.

  “Holy shit,” the guy said, holding his hands up like I’d pulled a gun on him. “Control that goddamned dog before somebody gets hurt.”

  I rushed around to the driver’s side of my Focus, putting a car between us. “Don’t touch me. She doesn’t like it when people touch me.” Actually I hadn’t known that until this moment, but I loved her all the more for it.

  “Did Charlie tell you where he was going this time?”

  I hesitated, my hand on the car door. The weird emphasis he put on Charlie’s name set my teeth on edge.

  The man laughed. “I bet you have no idea what he’s doing. You don’t know him at all.”

  “Sorry, I’ve got to go.” I scrambled inside my car so Sheba couldn’t get out. As soon as I shut the door, she calmed but kept her full attention on the threat, her ruff stiff along her back.

  “Ask him where he went, Ranay. Ask him what he’s doing.”

  I pulled out of the parking space, trying to get away as quickly as possible without causing an accident. How did he know my name? Did Charlie talk to him? He must have. He knew I was staying with Sheba. But it still freaked me out.

  He yelled after me, “Tell him Blake wants to talk to him.”

  I turned onto Campbell Avenue and slowed down before I got a ticket. My heart pounded as I checked my rearview mirror, watching for that big, gold SUV. Even if he wasn’t following me, he knew where I was staying. He knew my name. And this was the second time he’d tried to get me into his vehicle. There was something wrong about him. I could feel it.

  I buried a hand in Sheba’s fur. “Thank you, Sheba. Good girl. Good girl. God, what I am going to tell Charlie tonight?”

  Fuming and stewing with worry, I drove straight home. But it wasn’t my home. It was his. Even if the creep knew I was staying here, I still felt safer and closer to Charlie at his house than my own apartment. No one followed me out of town and I didn’t meet anyone on the road. Once I stepped inside and armed the system, I dropped onto his bed and hugged his pillow, breathing in his scent.

  I texted him. Do you have time to talk?

  I’d barely hit Send before my phone rang. I smiled as I picked it up. “Hi.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  I swallowed hard. He didn’t have to see me to know that I was upset. A single word had done that. “I had a minor incident today.”

  “Are you hurt?”

  His voice soaked into me, a balm to my frazzled nerves. “No, I’m fine. It was just weird. I thought you should know.”

  “What happened?” I quickly told him about the creepy neighbor approaching me. “What did this guy look like?”

  “Average.” I tried to picture him in my mind, but he was all blurry and featureless. “It’s weird, but I don’t know that I’d recognize him without the gold Suburban. He has that average look that makes him hard to describe. He said he was your neighbor.”

  “Have you seen him before?”

  “Once. The first day you were home sleeping. I took Sheba for a walk. He knew I was dog sitting. I thought he was the neighbor you said you could call to watch Sheba if I couldn’t make it.”

  “No.” He drew the word out as if his mind was running a mile a minute. “You wouldn’t be afraid of Ted. He’s about eighty years old and hard of hearing. Calls me sonny.”

  “Definitely not him.” I laughed a little, trying to imagine anyone calling him sonny. “So you don’t know who this other guy is?”

  “How’d Sheba react to him?”

  “At first, she was just alert. But when he grabbed my arm—”

  “He touched you?” He didn’t raise his voice, but each word vibrated with menace.

  “I jerked away and Sheba went nuts. I think he was trying to get me into his car.”

  He was silent for so long I held my breath, waiting for his response.

  “You didn’t take her with you.”

  Worse than menace was the heavy disappointment in the master’s voice. I sucked in a deep breath. “I did. She was in the car—”

  “You didn’t take her with you!” Goose bumps rose on my arms and I shivered, my teeth chattering. “My instructions were very clear, Ranay.”

  “I couldn’t take her inside Vanderholt. Or Walmart. She’s huge! She’d scare people to death. I had her with me in the car everywhere I went, but I can’t always take her inside. I thought that was good enough.”

  “No. That’s not good enough. Not when a motherfucking asshole lays a finger on you.” He breathed hard and I could almost see him dragging his hand through his hair, tangling up his curls. “But you’re right. I gave you an instruction that was impossible to follow to the letter. I’ll take care of that little mistake first thing tomorrow.”

  “He knew my name. How did he know my name if you don’t know who he is?”

  “I might have mentioned you to someone in passing and not realized it. Did he say anything else that might help me figure out who he is?”

  “As I drove away, he yelled that Blake wanted to talk to you.”

  “Then the man who’s not my neighbor could only be Tasker.”

  “So you do know him, then.”

  “Yeah. Right sodding bastard all around. Fuck. Just knowing that dickfaced jerk touched you makes me want to cut out his motherfucking heart and feed it to Sheba.”

  I opened my mouth but I wasn’t sure what to say. I’d never heard him be quite so bloodthirsty before, nor curse quite so much.

  “A few years ago, I worked for Blake. When she brought on men like Tasker, I bailed. With her, business was business. It was never personal. But Tasker...” He muttered a curse. “I wish to hell I was there right now to make sure you’re safe.”

  “I’m fine. I’m locked up in your house with your NASA alarm system activated. I’ll stay inside until you get home.”

  “No,” he retorted, but I sensed his frustration wasn’t with me, but with the situation. “You’ll live your life. The last thing I want you to do is lock yourself up waiting on me to get home. I’ll take care of it.”

  “But—”

  “I’ll take care of it,” he repeated firmly. “Go to work as usual and take Sheba with you. Don’t go anywhere else until you get my surprise. I’m pretty sure I can have it to you tomorrow, but to be safe, don’t go shopping or college hunting until you get it.”

  “No more college hunting for me right now. I’m going to talk to Dr. Wentworth tomorrow and see if she can teach me a few things herself. I want to handle the animals more, and twenty to thirty grand for a tech degree seems like a waste.”

  “No learning is useless, kitten.” Despite the endearment, his voice still vibrated with violence and anger. “This is really not a good time for my past to rear its ugly head.”

  I forced out a laugh. “Yeah, well, better your past than mine. The last thing I’d want is for Josh to show up asking about my new master.”

  “That won’t be a problem. Don’t let Tasker touch you again. He will try to use you to get me to come back to work for Blake. Promise me, Ranay.”

  I couldn’t help but push him a little. I wanted to k
now how far he’d go for me, because I already knew I’d go to the ends of the earth for him. “And if he did?”

  “He’s dead. Promise me.”

  I didn’t have to see his face to know that his eyes would be cold and empty. My stomach quivered and I remembered the way he’d looked at me while he hurt me. “No, you promise me that no one’s going to get hurt. I’m not worth—”

  “Ranay.” His voice lowered and roughened so much I could barely understand him. “I don’t like it when you say negative things about yourself. Promise me!”

  The last two words rose in intensity, and I let out a frightened squeak. “I promise.”

  “Good girl.” He lightened his voice and I could almost hear Charlie in his words. Until he said, “I’ll kill anyone who hurts you.”

  I opened my mouth but then his words hit me. Should I laugh, like it was a joke? But he hadn’t been laughing. He’d shouted at me. He’d made me promise.

  It took me a moment to realize he’d hung up.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I wasn’t sure if he’d call me back at nine o’clock for our regular call, but after hearing the disappointment in his voice that I’d failed to take Sheba with me, I wasn’t going to disobey him again. It had nothing to do with his threat to kill anyone who hurt me.

  At least that’s what I kept telling myself as I tried to bring myself to the edge of release. Naked, in his bed, that shouldn’t have been a problem. But I couldn’t get into it tonight. I even considered opening that brand-new Hitachi, but I’d rather he use it to force me to orgasm. My head was full of questions and worries and violence. I didn’t doubt Charlie. Not exactly. I was scared, though. Not even the good scared.

  I’d heard people threaten to kill someone before, but it’d either been on TV or a sibling fight. Like Sam wanted to kill me when I brought up that werewolf movie she’d loved so much. I’d wanted to kill her when she mentioned Josh in front of Charlie, trying to embarrass me. It wasn’t real. She would never hurt me. I’d certainly never hurt anyone.

  But Charlie...

  Sheba’s Charlie, my brown-eyed, curly headed lover, would never hurt me. I knew that. But I could see the other Charlie, who’d gotten off on the taste of my blood, killing someone. For real.