Hurt Me So Good Read online

  Fire puddled on her right shoulder, a searing glow of heat that blazed in the darkness of her mind. That fire tried to tug her back down, coiling around her like a molten snake of flame. Pain intruded, jagged glass slicing at her mind. Another blow thudded on her buttocks, warring against the wax on her shoulder, but the burn was winning.

  The crop descended again and she could hear Victor’s breathing, deep and labored. She smelled his raw heat, the masculine scent of a warrior after battle. No, the muddy, battered quarterback leading his team to victory. Only she was the one who felt battered.

  Merciless, he drove her closer to that end zone, the place he wanted her to be. A place of endless pain. A place where she needed him to simply stop. To make all the pain, all the darkness go away with just a gentle touch of his hand.

  And, oh, God, it felt so good. Too good. She hurt all over, the soles of her feet, the strands of her hair. She couldn’t take any more.

  She didn’t want it to stop.

  “Give it to me,” Victor growled, punctuating the words with another glob of wax at the base of her spine.

  His V had branded her, seared into her flesh. His. He’d made her his and it didn’t take a collar. It didn’t take a ring. All it took was the pain surging through her, tying her to him forever. He’d branded her with pain, addicted her with his crop, possessed her with his body. If she lost him now, she’d simply wither up and die. She wouldn’t know how to breathe.

  “I’m your Master, Gift, and I want you to give me everything. Give it to me!”

  She sank into the red-hot core of pain and let it dissolve her into nothing.

  He gripped her chin, his fingers drilling into her skull. “Give it to me now!”

  She let the last of the air spill from her lungs on the word he wanted to hear. “Christmas.”

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Shiloh didn’t have to open her eyes to know she was in Victor’s arms. His chest cradled her, his arms solid and safe about her, his body snug at her back. She was aware enough to know that she ought to hurt, but all she felt was heat. Perhaps because he held her, acting as a sort of soothing drug.

  “You shouldn’t hold her like that,” Mal said in a low voice, tight and shaking. With worry? Still fogged in that secret world he’d taken her, Shiloh couldn’t understand why. “At least put some ice on her back.”

  “I promised I would hold her.”

  Shiloh fought to open her eyes, peeling back the layers of exhaustion. Moving her head hurt, but she craned her neck, trying to see his face. “No, you didn’t.”

  “I promised Mama.” He cupped her face and eased her away from his chest. Air hit her back and her eyes flared open wide. She felt blistered from her neck to her ass. Quickly, he brought her down to lie on her stomach across his lap.

  Mal dropped cool cloths and ice packs on her back, but Shiloh still fought back tears. Her breath hissed between her teeth on a long, shaking, “Shit.”

  “I’m so sorry, baby.” Victor smoothed her hair, probably the only body part that wasn’t swollen and sore. His voice roughened, his thighs tensing beneath her, transmitting his anguish to her. She knew he had to have enjoyed the scene as much as she had, but just as she was suffering with the after effects, so was he, only his was internal guilt. “Do you regret it?”

  “That depends.”

  His hand stilled, heavy on her head and unmoving. He didn’t breathe, waiting for her answer.

  “Did we win?”

  “Girl, do you honestly have to ask that question?” Mal snorted. “Of course the Victor won the challenge. He always wins.” She stood and headed for the door. “I’m sending everyone home. We can tape the final award session later.”

  “Actually, hold that thought,” Victor ordered. “Keep everyone on hand until KDSX news runs. Gather everyone in the main room to watch and keep Andy close.”

  “Oh, he’ll be close all right. Beneath my boot.”

  The door shut. Victor shifted the ice packs so he could examine her back. Somber, he traced the V he’d burned into her skin.

  She felt his fingers trembling. “Don’t start—”

  “I’m not,” he broke in. “I don’t have a single regret. You were incredible, Shiloh. You took everything I dished out and kept begging for more. You should have seen Patrick limping off set, his arm practically dragging the ground and his pony girl with her tail between her legs.”

  She had to see his face. Sitting up carefully, she shifted on his lap and draped her arms around his shoulders. “You were incredible. No one has ever been able to make me phase out like that. You kept me high on pain with the crop, and then balanced it with the wax, dragging me back down enough where it hurt and I knew it hurt and I still didn’t want it to stop. I admit, though, if you hadn’t kept using your crop, I wouldn’t have been able to endure the whole V.”

  A slow, toe-curling smile curved his lips. “Now that is something I never dreamed to hear. Are you honestly saying my crop kept you from giving your safeword earlier?”

  She nodded with a sheepish shrug. “After protesting that I didn’t need one at all, I certainly learned the value of a safeword tonight. I can take your crop as long as you want to give it, but wax…” She shuddered and pressed closer to him. Every little movement made her skin scream with pain, but she didn’t care. She needed to be close to him, feel him, touch him. He’d given the pain. Only he could take it away. “It was hard, V. Harder than I expected.”

  He cupped the back of her head, mindful of the tender skin on her back. “And that’s why it meant so much to me.”

  She shifted her weight to her knees so her ass didn’t throb. She didn’t think about the implications, until she felt one of his hands settle on her backside while the other…

  “Mmm, you’re still wet. Were you this wet while I was whipping you?”

  “No,” she whispered against his mouth. “I was wetter.”

  He slid a finger inside her, while his other hand lightly danced across the welts still burning in her flesh. Her muscles clamped down on him so savagely and suddenly that she cried out against his mouth, her fingers clutching at his shoulders.

  Jerking his pants open, he pushed inside and clamped his hands on her hips, bringing her solidly against his thighs. Bliss to be filled, agony to press her swollen backside against his rock-hard body, and the two together sent her pleasure cascading higher in intensity, fed by his own explosive climax.

  “Two in less than five minutes,” he purred against her lips. “I would’ve tried for a dozen if we didn’t have a whole roomful of people waiting on us.”

  Now her face blazed as hot as her bruised ass. She couldn’t remember exactly how loudly she might have cried out. From the smugness on his face, she’d done just a bit more than cry out.

  If they were all just outside the door…

  Chuckling, Victor gave one last tender squeeze to her ass and helped her stand. Mal had left a new shift and the dreaded corset. The thought of that torturous contraption biting into her sore back made her shiver.

  So of course he slipped it over her head, although he took some pity on her and didn’t lace it tightly. “One of the hazards—and rewards—of a really good scene is the making up part after the fact. Nobody will be surprised that I needed to be inside you or else die on the spot.” He laced his fingers with hers and drew her close to his side. “Though they may be surprised that I was able to make you scream that loud without my crop.”

  He threw open the door and their production crew burst into cheers.

  Leaning against the bar with Shiloh tucked against his side and the large television playing above and behind his head on the wall, Victor watched Andy waver between shame, guilt and downright terror. Mal stood beside her lover, stiff and cold, her gaze averted from the KDSX announcer.

  “According to our source, Master V had a massive falling out with Ms. Holmes this weekend and has rejected her as his top sub choice,” Frank Firkuss said in that oil-slick voice that made Vic
tor grit his teeth. “Ironic, isn’t it, when she created the whole show to gain his interest?”

  His co-anchor, a chesty blonde, smiled. “Maybe we should offer her a job at KDSX. I’m sure she’ll have all sorts of interesting insights into VCONN’s CEO. She might not be America’s Next Top sub, but she could make a name for herself as the Master’s discarded trash.”

  Fury made a vein throb in Victor’s forehead, but he kept his touch light and easy on Shiloh. He hadn’t expected them to drag her name through the gutter like this or he never would have given Andy the rope to hang himself. He should have just fired the little prick and been done with him, instead of letting his ego get in the way.

  She leaned up on her tiptoes and whispered into his ear. “I don’t give a damn what they say, as long as you’re my Master.”

  “I am your Master,” he said louder, leveling a cutting glare on the other man. “And you will never be my discarded trash.”

  Pale with fear, Andy bolted toward the door. Mal reached out and snagged a handful of his shirt, whirled him around and forced him to his knees. If Victor had tried such a stunt, he might have enjoyed more of a struggle, but Andy was used to obeying Mal. He knew her touch and instinctively obeyed his Mistress.

  Victor paced a slow, deliberate circle about the kneeling man. “Let’s do a little math, shall we? There were three people in my office this morning, other than Shiloh and myself. Only three people who heard that Shiloh and I had a disagreement over the weekend. Only three people heard me say I was going to take a different sub to the final round. Which we just taped, coincidentally, and I did indeed choose Shiloh. I will always choose her. Mal and Patrick both knew that I had only said otherwise in my office to see if we could ferret out the leak. So who do you think our leak is, Andy?”

  “I’m sorry.” He bowed his head and wrung his hands. “I needed the money, and KDSX was willing to pay. I was desperate, sir.”

  “Desperate enough to give up my submissive’s name to the media hounds? Desperate enough to spread malicious gossip about our private life? Desperate enough to announce to all of Dallas that Victor Connagher is the meanest sadist in Dallas?”

  “All of Texas,” Mal corrected.

  “No, in America.” Moving to stand beside him, Shiloh smiled and squeezed his arm. “We should have named the show America’s Only Top Master.”

  Pride swelled his heart until he felt like his ribcage would simply bust open. How could I ever be conflicted about who or what I am, when I’m her Master?

  Andy looked from him to Mal and back with a flinch. “What are you going to do to me?”

  “I’m going to fire you,” Victor replied calmly. “What Mal chooses to do with you is up to her.”

  “Mistress…”

  “How can you possibly call me that when you’ve done nothing but lie to me?” Mal fisted her hands at her sides, her jaws tight and her voice thick with emotion. “I loved you, Andy. We shared more than I ever thought possible, and then I found out you’ve kept this kind of secret from me? That you betrayed me? My show was ruined. You seriously damaged my career as well as endangered VCONN’s season. All for a little poker money?”

  “I love you, Mistress.” He sobbed and pressed his face to the floor, his hand stretching out toward her ankles, but she sidestepped out of reach. “Forgive me. I never meant to hurt you.”

  “Get help, Andy, from someone other than me. You can’t be my submissive any longer. I expect your things to be gone by the time I get home tonight.”

  Victor leaned down to whisper against Shiloh’s ear. “Do you mind if she stays with us tonight?”

  “It’s your home.”

  “And I want it to be yours too.”

  Her eyes went wide and dark, her mouth soft and open on a little sound of surprise that drew him like a moth to a flame. He kissed her, a gentle persuasion of lips and tongue that insisted she belonged with him. Forever.

  He felt a sudden, fierce desire to see his collar on her throat. “Let’s film the final awards.”

  “Now?” Mal brushed surreptitiously at her cheeks. “Can’t we do it tomorrow?”

  He looped his arm around her waist and drew both her and Shiloh with him toward the dais. “It’ll just take a few minutes and then we can all sleep in tomorrow. Besides, we’re all here. We might as well take advantage of it. Let’s get the proof of this season’s success on film so we can sit back and laugh at KDSX and their erroneous stories.”

  Raising his voice, Victor called over two of the dungeon assistants and motioned them toward Andy. “Bring him over to the bottom step.”

  Patrick and his pony girl took the second dais, looking frankly battered and worse for wear. The submissive was still sweaty and shaky, like a horse rode hard and put away in the stable still wet.

  Victor led Shiloh to the top of the platform and helped her with her mask. Dropping to her knees, she still looked dazed from his casual announcement that he wanted her to move in with him. So the rest of what I intend will totally blow her mind.

  As soon as the cameras started rolling, Mal planted her stiletto on Andy’s back and pinned him face down to the floor. “You are no longer my submissive. Find a new Mistress, slave.” She gave a little twist with her heel, digging into his flesh, and then she turned and stepped off the dais, walking away without a backward glance.

  Patrick stroked his pony girl’s cheek and smiled at the cameras. “We didn’t win top sub this time, but we’ll be back for next season.”

  From the whites rolling in the submissive’s eyes, Victor didn’t think it too likely that she’d ever consider coming back to the show.

  The music rose to a crescendo and the lights dropped so that a single beam focused on him. He lightly tugged on Shiloh’s hair so she rocked back and lifted her gaze to his. “Gift, you have pleased me beyond my wildest dreams. You are indeed America’s Next Top sub.”

  He waited while the crew and other contestants cheered.

  “Do you want to be V’s Gift?”

  She smiled tremulously. “More than anything, Master.”

  Georgia brought the black-velvet tray up the dais as grandly as any empress’s royal jewels. She even inclined her head to Gift and then backed down a step, still in the shot but lower than the stars of the show.

  He picked up his collar and held up the necklace for the cameras. “The Master’s collar is not worn lightly. It’s a symbol of ownership, yes, but also the most solemn commitment. I hereby commit myself to Gift. I commit to taking care of her needs, ensuring that she receives the pleasure, and yes, the pain, that she needs. I commit to improving my skills so that I can continually rise to the challenges she presents me. Most of all, I commit my heart to her. Gift, I love you and only you. Will you be my submissive?”

  She smiled with such joy that his heart thudded, sore and wounded by her love. “Yes, with all my heart.”

  He bent down and latched the collar about her neck. It looked like high-end jewelry, but the latch was actually a tiny lock, ensuring the only hand that would remove the collar was his. He didn’t intend her to wear it all the time by any means, but the commitment and permanence were important to him, and to her, by the shining tears in her eyes.

  Victor drew Shiloh to her feet and sealed his mouth over hers in a fierce kiss of possession, dangling the crop prominently down her back.

  Georgia applauded. “America’s Next Top sub is Master V’s Gift!”

  Chapter Twenty Four

  V’s Gift Blog

  Waking up in V’s bed, I always feel like a kid walking into the world’s largest, most fantastic candy shop. I hope I never lose that sense of wonder.

  But this morning is even more wondrous, because I wake up with His crop beneath my cheek. Yes, He brought it to bed last night, without me asking. What’s funny is that we didn’t even use it. There was no need. Just the act of Him trusting Himself—and me—enough to bring it to bed and have that wicked crop at hand meant the world to me.

  By the smolde
ring fire in His eyes, He’s been awake for quite some time. “Good morning, sleepy head.”

  I glance at the clock and it’s only nine, surely not late enough for that comment…but then I realize it’s a work day. I shoot up like someone goosed me with that crop, but He snags my wrist and tumbles me back down beside Him. “Your boss decided you weren’t working today. Neither of us.”

  I can talk like a phone-sex worker and beg Him to whip me within an inch of my life, but the innuendo inherent in my very inappropriate relationship with my boss, my Master, still makes me blush.

  Which He thinks is hilarious. By the time He stops laughing at me, I’m far from the mood to cuddle beneath the blankets. I start to get up, but He’s still got my wrist trapped in His big hand.

  He’s got the most powerful, punishing grip. “You’re not going anywhere.”

  I can’t help but notice as He picks up the crop with his other hand, and my body goes into instant meltdown. I try not to let my voice shake. “I’m not?”

  “I need something, baby. I need it so badly I’ve been watching you sleep for the last hour and thinking about nothing else. What do you think that might be, hmmm?”

  I rise up on my hands and knees. “Hurt me, V. Hurt me so good.”

  Filled with so much pride and love he felt like his heart might burst, Victor pressed a kiss to Shiloh’s neck and trailed his fingers down the deep-cut back of her gown. “You look fantastic.”

  Arm in arm, he escorted her toward the exclusive cocktail reception to benefit a Dallas children’s charity group. Mal and Patrick walked just ahead of them, but what really made Victor smile was the two young men making eyes at each other. Léon and Brandon had really hit it off. “Is this one of my sister’s designs?”

  “She insisted that I pick out a formal gown for tonight and mention to everyone where I got it.”

  The dress was made from brazen red silk that hugged her body to perfection, but in his opinion, what made the gown so mouth-wateringly gorgeous was the deeply slashed back. He knew that the barest width of silk covered the marks he’d left in her flesh. His brand, his V of bruises, lay there, barely hidden.