Your To Take - Connaghers 03 Read online

  Watching Jesse come up the stairs toward her apartment, Vicki tried to swallow around her heart that felt like it’d lodged in her throat. His freshly washed jeans were comfortably worn, threadbare and ragged in spots, which was all the rage anyway. He’d pulled his hair back in a ponytail, tight in contrast to the simple cotton T-shirt and jeans.

  He’d left his shoes and socks off too. Barefoot and vulnerable, he made her heart ache. He trusted her to take care of and protect him. In the cold on the streets, he’d never walk around without his shoes for fear someone worse off might take them.

  To break the intensity, she asked, “Hungry?”

  He stared at her mouth, pausing several steps below so his head remained lower than hers. “Starving.”

  Blood pounded a vicious tempo in her ears. Slowly, she reached out to lightly brush her fingers across his jaw to the ponytail holder. “May I?”

  “You can do anything you want to me.”

  She worked the rubber band loose, trying not to pull his hair, but his eyes darkened like a mysterious lagoon. Experimentally, she wrapped her hand in his hair and tugged, mesmerized by the way his mouth softened, opened. His tongue darted out, his eyes falling shut. “What do you like?”

  “Anything you want.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “So am I. I’m up for anything you tell me to do. You said your brother was a sadist, so if pain runs in the blood, try me. I can take a lot of punishment.”

  She blew out her breath, frustrated and scared spitless. Maybe I should have gone with Victor a few times so I’d know what the hell I’m getting into. “I don’t want to punish you. I want you to feel safe and secure with me. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”

  “Not even your cop?”

  He didn’t say it like an accusation, but dread still made her stomach queasy. She owed Elias her allegiance first and foremost. He was a good man, an excellent cop and a fabulous lover. But when it came to his pride, he could be a loose cannon. In the end, aren’t I cheating on him with another man? How can I ask him to allow this?

  “Because if you want him to fuck me, I’ll accept him gladly.”

  Blood drained from her face. She cupped his cheeks in both hands and leaned down with her sternest look. “I will never ask you to do such a thing. If you don’t want to do something, I need to know. You told me earlier you don’t like men, so don’t make that kind of offer to me. It’s not necessary. In fact, it’s repulsive to me, and to Elias, that you’d think we’d require such services from you in order for you to stay. You have to tell me the truth or I can’t protect you.”

  His eyes shimmered and his mouth trembled. “I’ll do anything, Vicki. Please don’t send me away.”

  “I’m not going to send you away, but we have to take this slowly. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I don’t want to lose Elias just to have you, but the thought of losing you…” Letting out a rough growl, she pulled Jesse into her arms. Eagerly, he went to his knees, pressing as close to her as possible. “I’m going to get help for you, for me, whatever it takes. You’ve been abused, and I don’t want to screw this up out of ignorance.”

  He hugged with his entire body, arms locked around her hips. “I’ve never had a choice. I don’t know what I like, not really, but when you touch me, even a hug, it’s like angels start singing and my bones melt and my blood boils in my veins. It’s you. Whatever you want. I trust you not to hurt me.”

  Hands trembling, she held him, smoothing her hands over his back and shoulders. Such responsibility. God help me. She couldn’t stop touching him, though, like she couldn’t watch him walk away into the snow and cold. She wanted to make him feel safe and loved like he’d never been before.

  “Just having you touch me…” Muffled against her stomach, his words burrowed into her. “I’m starved for affection and physical contact as much as anything else.”

  “Let’s go eat dinner.” Soothingly, she ran her fingers through his hair. “Then if you can stand to watch cheesy horror movies, we’ll cuddle on the couch for awhile.”

  Reluctantly, he released her and stood. “If you’ll let me hold your hand, I’ll even watch ballet.”

  She offered her hand, and he clasped her fingers between his palms, bending down to kiss her knuckles. His caressed her with his lips, making what should have been a polite gesture into something so erotic it could have been X-rated.

  And then he got his tongue involved.

  He nudged her knuckle firmly, lips closing around the small bump to suck and work, silently demonstrating what he’d eagerly do between her thighs if she gave him the chance. His teeth grazed her skin, making her groan out loud and pull her hand away, although she kept his fingers gripped in hers.

  “Give me any part of your body,” he said, his voice breathless, “and I’ll worship it with only my lips, tongue and teeth.”

  Unsteady, she had to brace herself against the door frame before trusting her balance. “Good Lord, Jesse, will you stop tempting me like this?”

  He shook his head, tumbling his hair down to veil his stunning eyes. “You asked me what I’d enjoy. I’m just being honest. I’d love to have you spread out naked with the order that I’m only to touch you with my mouth.”

  Now that she’d fueled his confidence where he felt safe enough to flirt and entice, this dangerous attraction was only getting worse by the moment. Floundering between consuming need and embarrassment—at how easily and fiercely he’d managed to turn her on—she forced herself to turn away and shut the door. She even tried squeezing her eyes shut so she couldn’t see the tempting invitation blazing in his.

  But that didn’t stop him. “I think I could come just from sucking on your finger. I know I would if you kissed me right now.”

  “We are so not going there. We can’t. I want to give you time—”

  “I’ve had time on the streets. I’ve done time in prison. I don’t need time to know that I love you.”

  “I need time. I can’t say that I want to protect you, and then take advantage of you.” In desperation, she added, “Elias is spending the night, and this time, he won’t be on the couch.”

  Jesse’s eyes only darkened more and he edged closer. “Can I watch?”

  “No!” She shuddered at the thought. Elias would probably bust a vein in his forehead if she’d even thought to ask him. “Absolutely not.”

  Groaning, Jesse dropped his head to her shoulder. “Please, Vicki, I’m dying. Give me something. Anything. Can I at least come when you do?”

  She opened her mouth to retort that he could come whenever the hell he wanted, but she couldn’t say it. She stood there, mouth open, eyes wide, dumbstruck by the surge of pure power and primal lust that crashed through her. She liked the idea of controlling his release. Making him wait. Giving him a word, a simple caress, and watching his mouth fall open, his eyes blaze, while he pumped at her command.

  “Oh,” he breathed out in a soft whisper, raising his head to search her face, his eyes as wide as hers. “You like that idea. While he’s inside you, think of me downstairs, tangled in the sheets, sweating and rock-hard while I listen, begging to hear your cry of release. No matter how much I hurt, I won’t touch myself. All it’ll take is your voice, your scream, and I’ll explode. Yes? Please?”

  She swallowed hard and tried to slow down her breathing before she hyperventilated. “On one condition.”

  “Anything.”

  “You back down on the flirting until I get my head wrapped around this. Okay?”

  “Wrapped around you and me?”

  “And me and Elias.”

  “Yes’m.” Jesse smiled and tipped his head in a nod. “Is he a good lover?”

  She remembered Elias’s threat-promise: We’re going to be loud, babe. “Oh, yeah. It might get rather…rowdy.”

  “Good.” Jesse’s eyes burned sultry. “I can’t wait for him to arrive.”

  Elias quietly slipped his seldom-used key into her locked door and eased it o
pen. It made him feel sneaky and mean, hoping to catch her in a compromising position, and also sick to his stomach at the thought. He didn’t know if he could really face that reality. He could talk about it, even joke about it, but if he saw her having sex with another man, it might be the last breath that bastard would ever take.

  Even if that man was Jesse, who managed to give off that helpless victim vibe that must have drawn the vilest perps in Dallas.

  Elias had no right to claim her sole affections, not after abandoning her these past months. Frustrated rage at his job had simmered over into his personal life. When Donnie had been killed, Elias could only picture himself lying dead in the street. He’d like to think that maybe he’d wanted to protect her from ever ending up a sobbing widow leaning over his coffin, but he couldn’t lie to himself.

  Her client had blown his partner away.

  She’d only being doing her job, which merely happened to run counter to his. But she didn’t have to do it so fucking well.

  So he’d taken his rage out on her, even though he knew it was stupid. He’d been a prick. She was a strong woman and she could carry a hell of a lot, but that didn’t make it right for him to dump the blame on her shoulders. Especially when I carry Donnie’s death on my back too.

  It would serve him right if she’d moved on and found another man. A man who didn’t work himself to death in case a drug dealer didn’t get to him first. Or a kid who worships the ground she walks on because she saved him.

  The lights were off but the television was playing one of those ridiculous black-and-white zombie movies she loved so much. Two heads were visible above the couch, although Jesse’s was low and tucked into her neck more than Elias cared to see. Nothing suspicious was going on—they were only watching a movie.

  Doubt ate away at him. She’d been so upset, so desperate earlier when they’d talked on the phone. Maybe they’d already done the deed hours ago. Instead of serving dinner, maybe she’d taken Jesse on top of the table.

  Elias knew full well that she was a passionate woman. The kid was so eager and desperate to belong to her, that God only knew how far he’d pushed her. Elias couldn’t even bring himself to blame him. He’d do a hell of a lot to keep her himself, even if the last few months hadn’t proven how much he cared about her.

  He shut the door quietly, but her head whipped around. Her eyes met his, and he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she hadn’t found release in anyone else’s arms. Not by the fire in her eyes. He swore the temperature in the room spiked twenty degrees.

  Beside her, Jesse uncurled, stretching like a sleepy cat.

  Elias forced himself to move slowly instead of falling on her like a starving wolf. Methodically, he stashed his gun and badge in the bolted-down safe he’d installed in her coat closet once they got serious. Shutting the door, he turned and raked his eyes over her as she stood. She wore jeans and a soft sweater instead of a slinky gown or low-cut blouse, but it was all he could do not to bury his hands in that cotton and rip his way into her lush body.

  She stalked toward him, her eyes glittering, her body simmering that siren call of need. Need for him. Eyes only for him. Despite the handsome younger man hovering warily at her back.

  Trying not to be an asshole, at least this time, he said in a gruff voice, “Get your butt downstairs, Jesse.”

  The kid shot toward the door like zombies had started crawling out of the TV.

  Not a moment too soon, because she slammed into Elias and attacked his shirt. He’d left his tie and jacket in the truck, but he couldn’t remember if he had any spare clothes here. Jerking at the button on her jeans, he bit her bottom lip so hard her breath hissed out, spurring her to yank harder.

  “Watch the shirt, babe. I have to show up for work tomorrow without looking like I was mugged.”

  A button pinged on the wall. “I’ll make you a new one.”

  He jammed his hand down the front of her jeans, wincing at the zipper digging into his skin, but he couldn’t slow down. He had to stroke her, see how turned on she was, how quickly she came at his touch. It’d tell him a lot about how much she’d missed him.

  She rolled her hips, squirming against him, helping him work his fingers deeper, past the satin, hooking his finger beneath…

  “Yes,” he growled out against her ear. “You’re so wet and hot you’re going to come…now,” he finished, a bit surprised. He hadn’t meant it as a command, but she shuddered, groaning deep in her throat.

  Her cry of pleasure rose in intensity, her hunger flaming higher. Tightening her arms around his neck, she hopped up against him, forcing him to catch her with his free arm while she wrapped her legs around his waist.

  “Hurry.” She moaned, but then she stiffened in his arms a moment, and he wondered if she was going to come again so quickly. He buried a finger inside her and she shuddered, her voice rising, wild and desperate. “Elias, please!”

  He started for her bedroom, but a soft noise made him hesitate. It sounded like a low moan. He whipped his head around as the door snicked shut. Damn that punk. If he’d thought to watch the show…

  “I need you now,” she whispered, thrusting and stroking her tongue in his ear, her breath hot and frantic, and Elias forgot to care.

  Leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, Jesse struggled to calm his breathing. She’d looked at him over the cop’s shoulder. She’d seen him standing there, jeans gaping open to ease the misery, cock out and hard and jerking in climax. If the cop had turned around and seen him indecently exposed, he’d probably be a gelding.

  His legs trembled, so he didn’t try to maneuver down the stairs yet. He’d kept his promise to her, no hands other than to catch as much of the load as possible, although he’d still have to sneak back up here to clean the landing.

  A muffled thump, a low, hard voice, and his groin stirred all over again. He stumbled down the stairs, washed his hands, and cleaned up the mess as quickly as possible. Then he stripped naked, stretched out on the bed she’d given him, and stared up at the ceiling.

  The thumps were louder. Yes, he’d been right. Her bedroom was directly above. He closed his eyes and imagined how the cop was making love to her. Not the bed, not yet. They’d been too urgent to make it that far.

  Jesse scrambled to his knees and planted his hands on the wall above the headboard. Yes, against the wall, vibrating with their passion. Braced on his knees, he imagined her pressed against his back, stroking his chest and stomach, lingering, playing low on his belly while she laughed huskily in his ear.

  When she screamed, he would be the one rocking the bed.

  Chapter Five

  Elias set her down long enough for him to shuck his pants, while she shed her clothes in record time. She burned, worse than she’d ever ached for him. Yet Jesse’s image hovered in the background of her mind, stirring her lust to heights she’d never even thought about before. So hot, to see him standing there, climaxing in secret behind Elias’s back. Only because she was climaxing, which had made her come harder, a weird synchronicity that lit her nerves on fire.

  Oh, the power. What a rush.

  Yet her stomach twisted with anxiety, because if Elias had turned around a moment too soon, what would he have done? Would he have broken Jesse’s arm as he’d threatened that first night? Or worse?

  Elias slammed her up against the wall so hard the whole house shook. By the quirk of his mouth and the wicked glint in his eyes, he knew damned well how that must have sounded to the younger man downstairs. He wasn’t pissed because he was the top dog. They all knew it. Only he would be in her bed tonight.

  Dare I hope for something even better than jealous violence if he’d seen what was happening behind him?

  “Condom?”

  Breathless, she narrowed her eyes, tempted to tell him yes just to piss him off. She was on the pill, but they’d been broken up for more months than she cared to count. “Have you been with anyone else?”

  “No.” Somehow, he managed to sound ins
ulted. “I’m not the one with the hot cabana boy downstairs listening to our every groan.”

  “I’m not the one who walked out on us, and no, if you’re curious, I haven’t been with anyone else either.”

  She pushed the shirt the rest of the way off his shoulders, reveling in the sheer strength in his body. He wasn’t a big man, but he carried a wallop of power in his lean, six-foot-tall frame. He’d trained for years, more than capable of running down a druggie or taking out a burglar with his bare hands. He knew exactly how to use every muscle. His neck and shoulders corded and flexed, effortlessly shifting her higher on the wall.

  “No condom,” she whispered, winding her fingers in the short, dark hair at the base of his neck. “Just you, Spike.”

  Half in play but also deadly serious, he snarled and snapped his teeth at her ear. He gripped her shoulder in his jaws, biting this side of pain, and she couldn’t suppress the delicious shiver that rocked her body against his. With a brutal thrust, he shoved inside her so hard that a cry tore out of her throat.

  He knew exactly what she liked, how much she could take. He certainly knew how slick and wet she was for him. The only problem—it’d been too long for him too. After a few thrusts, he shuddered and poured into her.

  Panic made her pulse flutter like a butterfly trapped in a glass. Need pounded inside her as strong as his thrusts, demanding, hammering for attention. Her skin was raw and tender like she’d rolled around in broken glass. Swollen and so damned tight, she wanted to scream at him for finishing so quickly.

  “Damn you.” She clawed his back hard enough he grunted and thudded inside her on another pulse. “God, I need you so bad. What am I supposed to do now?”

  He actually had the audacity to laugh. “You’re insatiable, Vik.”

  Furious, desperate emotion tore through her like a hurricane. He’d said she was like a hungry crocodile. Maybe he was tired of trying to keep her satisfied. Maybe that’s why she suddenly found herself attracted to two men. Need and shame twisted inside her, ugly and painful. She shoved at his chest and threw her elbow at his throat. The more he tried to contain her struggles, the harder she fought him.